Descriptive Reflection: Self-Introduction Letter
Dear Professor Brad Blackstone,
My name is Hannah Yussoff, a student from
your Critical Thinking and Communicating class. I am writing to you to formally
introduce myself. Currently, I am taking a degree in Mechanical Design and
Manufacturing Engineering. Prior to this, I graduated from Singapore
Polytechnic with a Diploma in Chemical Engineering.
Even though I studied chemical engineering in polytechnic, I felt that the course did not allow me to explore
or broaden my interest in engineering. Hence, before pursuing my current degree, I did heavy research to ensure
that I get into a course I would enjoy.
My interest in engineering
sparked ever since I was young. Having a father who is an engineering technician,
I have always been intrigued by the way he could fix almost everything and
anything. I started helping him out as a kid, and slowly found myself enjoying
the things he does. I could not forget one instance when my family kept
chickens as pets. My father and I worked together to design and build a small wooden house for them. From shaping the wooden planks to nailing them together, I
loved how versatile the whole process was. That was around the time I figured
that engineering was something I could foresee myself doing in the future.
As for my communication skills, I
often get told that I am a soft speaker. I always get too nervous when it comes
to presenting in front of an audience, so much so that I start to stutter my
words. I believe my communication weakness lies in my fear of public speaking.
On the other hand, I am sociable and can converse well with others on a
professional level. An advantage comes from having a part-time job that allows
me to practice my soft skills, as I am exposed to many kinds of interactions.
In this module, I aim to gain
confidence and be bolder in terms of public speaking. I am sure that this communication
module will allow me to work on delivering my messages more effectively to
bigger audiences. I look forward to acquiring more skills and knowledge from
you in your classes.
Yours sincerely,
Hannah Yussoff
(Updated on 5 February 2023)
The content of the letter is well written as there are well elaborated examples and well linked to the points that were mentioned. It is also organization with proper flow with some minor grammatical error.
ReplyDeleteDear Heng Quan, thank you for your comment. I will work on some of the grammatical errors you have mentioned.
DeleteWell written letter. The contents and key points were clear and enjoyable to read. I think the example where you talked about how and your father built a coop for the chicken together was really interesting and showed how you came to develop a liking for engineering. Good job in writing this letter.
ReplyDeleteDear Hui Juan, thank you for the positive comment :) I hope you managed to learn something new about me.
DeleteA very good write-up. The transition flow to each paragraph was smooth and fluent. The key ideas and contents were easy to understand and interesting to read. The closing paragraph is clear and concise.
ReplyDeleteDear Sabrina, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my letter. I appreciate the positive remarks given.
DeleteDear Hannah.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. It has great content and organisation flows from how you were able to develop an interest in engineering, to your family pet chickens, and finally to the sharing of the vulnerable experience you had in public speaking. Although, I would like to suggest a change in terms of language: "My interest in engineering sparked when I was still young" could be corrected to "My interest in engineering sparked ever since I was young". This gives the audience the perception that your interest in engineering is still present. Nevertheless, it is still a great sharing in terms of content, language, and organisation.
Cheers,
Muhammad 'Aqil
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Hannah,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this clear, detailed personal sharing. I appreciate the rich content that is well aligned with the assignment brief, the effective way you have organized your thoughts and the mostly fluent language use.
You've done a fine job providing supporting information for each specific content area, allowing us readers to gain a clearer understanding of who you are. I especially like the reference to your father's work and how assisting him to build a chicken hoop inspired you, which is a noteworthy reason for getting into the engineering field.
You also do a fine job of discussing how the interactions from your part-time job provide a chance for you to " practice my soft skills." (What is it you do?)
Your language use in this letter is effective, but there are a few areas to consider for revision:
1. inconsistent use of caps
-- I am taking a degree in Mechanical Design and Manufacturing Engineering. / a Diploma in Chemical Engineering. / this degree in mechanical design and manufacturing engineering
-- Yours Sincerely, > Yours sincerely,
See https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/apa/other/capitalization
2. inconsistent verb tense usage
-- ...I did heavy research to ensure that I get into a course I will enjoy. > I did heavy research to ensure that I would get into a course I would enjoy.
3. inaccurate transition phrase
-- On the contrary, I am sociable and can converse well ... > (On the one hand/on the other hand)
I look forward to learning more about you this term.
Best wishes,
Brad